My Overlooked Skills I Wish People Would Endorse on LinkedIn

LinkedIn endorsements were created to make professionals feel better about their job skills. So why am I annoyed every time someone endorses me in something I feel I don’t deserve (or care about)?

Many of my real job talents bubble beneath the surface, just waiting to be endorsed by my connections. Life is about more than WordPress knowledge and Adobe Creative Suite, you know. Why don’t my LinkedIn connections notice my overlooked job skills instead? Shouldn’t real-life job talents carry as much weight as the rest? Unlike program experience, these skills effortlessly transfer over to any job in any office in any industry.

For instance, I’m fucking awesome at:

1. Making passive-aggressive signs in an attempt to foil office stupidity
2. Pretending not to despise peppy co-workers for being happy when I’m miserable
3. Replacing the toilet paper roll (in my experience, I’m the only one who knows how to do it)
4. Throwing away moldy leftovers and taking out the trash to circumvent that garbage-dump stench
5. Snacking at my cubicle without alerting the entire building
6. Chair swaying/dancing to music while still maintaining a 70 WPM rate
7. Cranking my headphones to the exact volume required to drown out office antics (and there are many)
8. Timing headphone usage to avoid hearing unwanted PDA from insensitive co-worker couples
9. Spraying just the right amount of air freshener after using the bathroom
10. Changing the water cooler (another unique talent in my office)
11. Rearranging cube decorations to accommodate the maximum number of important documents (also known as pictures of hot celebrities)
12. Staring at PowerPoint presentations in the perfect spot to make it seem like I’m actually paying attention
13. Pretending to give a damn about other people’s weekends
14. Flipping off loud jerks from behind the safety of my grey fabric walls
15. Using the microwave farthest from my desk for all potent leftover reheats
16. Spotting and stealing closer parking spots when early birds leave for lunch
17. Sharing newsworthy-enough articles on social sites without reading anything but the titles
18. Timing bathroom use to avoid potentially awkward moments
19. Feigning interest in boring projects that make me want to kill myself
20. Not killing myself

So, the next time you’re on LinkedIn, would you toss me an endorsement in one of these areas? I’d be eternally grateful!

Thanks for adding me to your professional network.

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Image credit to mountainpete on Flickr.